Project Love People
I haven’t really really written for a long time. Haven’t had the time, to sit and write for at least an hour, haven’t had for a long while. I’ll just take a look to see when I ended off…
I wrote quite a bit on and off, but mostly feelings, not much story line. Maybe I should fill in all the storylines…
Baaah…I’ll just write about the past year . . . like a bad sheep, doesn’t go “meeeh”, goes “baaah” instead.
Last year, that is, beginning 2003, that time was a great time. One thing, I had a lot of time. I had only 2 modules the whole sem and it was my last sem. I managed to squeeze all my school time into one day a week. Wednesday, I still remember. Of course, I still have to spend more time on project meetings, research, such like, but that’s another story.
(This is getting quite easy to write. It’s always easier for me to write about things that’s past, things that I can see from hindsight and thought through, very difficult to write about things now, especially things I can’t make head or tail of at the moment.)
Anyway, my point is, that time I had plenty of time, and I didn’t want to waste it. So I decided to spend my time on a few constructive things. I don’t remember whether I asked the Lord about it, so I don’t want to misquote Him. I think I did. In fact I think the whole thing is His idea. But these are all assumptions.
The few constructive things boil down to that I felt I’ve neglected many people most of the time. And all the most important people in my life. Mainly I’ve just neglected people. Always complaining I have no time. So now that I have time I want to spend some time letting all these people know that I care. I want to spend some time loving people. So I called it Project Love People. Ha . . . that is something I never told anyone about to this day, never even wrote it down or anything, just kept it in my thoughts, but it was always there. And whenever that time I felt tired or grouchy, I’ll remind myself, I’m doing this project Love People for the Lord. It’s just part of the job, and I think . . . on the whole I enjoyed it. It was a better job than any other that I know.
And of course, more time means must spend more time with God.
All in all, it was great. The whole period of time I really enjoyed it, not least because I have lots of time to laze around, I have to admit. But also I think I was able to build such close relationships with my PRC girls also because I had so much time to spend on them. Lavish time. The word is lavish.
I think God used this time to teach me some things that I had to had lots of time to slowly learn.
Certainly I enjoyed spending time with all the people I want to spend time with! And I learnt that it really takes time to build relationships, that people really appreciate it when you take the time to show that you care. The problem is that most people don’t have such kind of time. And I began to learn how to schedule my time around other people, to go out of my way to be there for them. Just like before when I told the Lord I seem to be spending more time worrying about other people’s businesses rather than my own, and He told me next time I’d spend even more time, and my life will be about other people, not about myself.
From the beginning when I saw how everyone else’s PRC girls were willing to go out with them, especially, especially Cythia’s girls and she was my partner, whom I kept seeing, and I was kind of envious. I felt barren. I asked the Lord, “How come You bless everybody, don’t want to bless me? I actually asked Him that! But He didn’t tell me. From the time when He asked me, “Will you do it just for Me?” He only said, when I asked Him why He put me where I am now, He only told me this, that He put me where I was to learn to be a servant.
Until the time about three weeks after we first met our PRC, one afternoon I was at Guixiang’s place talking to her. I remember this distinctly cause I was always very nervous going to her place that time, dunno what I was going to say to her or anything. Well, in the middle of it, someone from the flat of six called. It was Zhangxin. She asked me to lend her a camera. I said I haven’t got one. She said please borrow one for them somehow, and they need it by tomorrow for their outing. I agreed to try doubtfully.
At home, I searched rather grumpily but end up I found a few old cameras rather easily. I made them come to my interchange to get the camera from me, was thinking it might be spoiling them to deliver to their place when they were borrowing from me, asking a favour. Or maybe it was just that I was lazy and a horrible person.
I remember this story very well cause I used it as a testimony to share with many people a number of times after…
As I was going downstairs to meet them, I was still grumbling to myself. It goes something like this, “What are they treating me as? 我跟你很熟meh? I only know you how long only? You think I’m your mother is it? . . . you think I’m your servant is it?...”
And that caught me short. The word, like some kind of punchline, servant. Servant. And then I remembered. That’s what the Lord told me to be! To be a servant! And here I am having a great opportunity for being one, and listen to me grumbling! I should be happy they treat me as someone very 熟, I’ve been working so hard to get that, I should thank God! Mother, that’s what I hope to be to them, servant, that’s what I am! What on earth am I complaining for?!
And in the days to come, that’s what I kept remembering.
I wrote quite a bit on and off, but mostly feelings, not much story line. Maybe I should fill in all the storylines…
Baaah…I’ll just write about the past year . . . like a bad sheep, doesn’t go “meeeh”, goes “baaah” instead.
Last year, that is, beginning 2003, that time was a great time. One thing, I had a lot of time. I had only 2 modules the whole sem and it was my last sem. I managed to squeeze all my school time into one day a week. Wednesday, I still remember. Of course, I still have to spend more time on project meetings, research, such like, but that’s another story.
(This is getting quite easy to write. It’s always easier for me to write about things that’s past, things that I can see from hindsight and thought through, very difficult to write about things now, especially things I can’t make head or tail of at the moment.)
Anyway, my point is, that time I had plenty of time, and I didn’t want to waste it. So I decided to spend my time on a few constructive things. I don’t remember whether I asked the Lord about it, so I don’t want to misquote Him. I think I did. In fact I think the whole thing is His idea. But these are all assumptions.
The few constructive things boil down to that I felt I’ve neglected many people most of the time. And all the most important people in my life. Mainly I’ve just neglected people. Always complaining I have no time. So now that I have time I want to spend some time letting all these people know that I care. I want to spend some time loving people. So I called it Project Love People. Ha . . . that is something I never told anyone about to this day, never even wrote it down or anything, just kept it in my thoughts, but it was always there. And whenever that time I felt tired or grouchy, I’ll remind myself, I’m doing this project Love People for the Lord. It’s just part of the job, and I think . . . on the whole I enjoyed it. It was a better job than any other that I know.
And of course, more time means must spend more time with God.
All in all, it was great. The whole period of time I really enjoyed it, not least because I have lots of time to laze around, I have to admit. But also I think I was able to build such close relationships with my PRC girls also because I had so much time to spend on them. Lavish time. The word is lavish.
I think God used this time to teach me some things that I had to had lots of time to slowly learn.
Certainly I enjoyed spending time with all the people I want to spend time with! And I learnt that it really takes time to build relationships, that people really appreciate it when you take the time to show that you care. The problem is that most people don’t have such kind of time. And I began to learn how to schedule my time around other people, to go out of my way to be there for them. Just like before when I told the Lord I seem to be spending more time worrying about other people’s businesses rather than my own, and He told me next time I’d spend even more time, and my life will be about other people, not about myself.
From the beginning when I saw how everyone else’s PRC girls were willing to go out with them, especially, especially Cythia’s girls and she was my partner, whom I kept seeing, and I was kind of envious. I felt barren. I asked the Lord, “How come You bless everybody, don’t want to bless me? I actually asked Him that! But He didn’t tell me. From the time when He asked me, “Will you do it just for Me?” He only said, when I asked Him why He put me where I am now, He only told me this, that He put me where I was to learn to be a servant.
Until the time about three weeks after we first met our PRC, one afternoon I was at Guixiang’s place talking to her. I remember this distinctly cause I was always very nervous going to her place that time, dunno what I was going to say to her or anything. Well, in the middle of it, someone from the flat of six called. It was Zhangxin. She asked me to lend her a camera. I said I haven’t got one. She said please borrow one for them somehow, and they need it by tomorrow for their outing. I agreed to try doubtfully.
At home, I searched rather grumpily but end up I found a few old cameras rather easily. I made them come to my interchange to get the camera from me, was thinking it might be spoiling them to deliver to their place when they were borrowing from me, asking a favour. Or maybe it was just that I was lazy and a horrible person.
I remember this story very well cause I used it as a testimony to share with many people a number of times after…
As I was going downstairs to meet them, I was still grumbling to myself. It goes something like this, “What are they treating me as? 我跟你很熟meh? I only know you how long only? You think I’m your mother is it? . . . you think I’m your servant is it?...”
And that caught me short. The word, like some kind of punchline, servant. Servant. And then I remembered. That’s what the Lord told me to be! To be a servant! And here I am having a great opportunity for being one, and listen to me grumbling! I should be happy they treat me as someone very 熟, I’ve been working so hard to get that, I should thank God! Mother, that’s what I hope to be to them, servant, that’s what I am! What on earth am I complaining for?!
And in the days to come, that’s what I kept remembering.
posted by judith at
3:22 am
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