God is making sure I take His words very seriously. Just like the way I discipline children. The warning is given, if the instructions are still now followed, the consequences are allowed to come into play. With cause and effect very obvious. Wah, scary man. 我不敢不听话.

Waiting for a resurrection of sorts. Not a redo of the same old, but a fresh, different new. Not of other people, just of me. Not just pressing the restart button, but reformating the hard drive. I need hope.

pick yourself up and dust yourself off, back in the saddle .... when you fall get up

Lord, I cannot take it anymore. 主，我的心好痛。我不明白。I also cannot see. Please look at me. Lord, how come Your work is always like that one?