Honest conversation
Abraham never saw the promised land. Jacob didn't. Moses, the man God called friend, didn't go in. David, the man after God's heart, wasn't the one to build a temple for Him....
Lord, You never let me take things for granted, never let me try to be one-up on people, make me see how precious each thing you give me is, make me appreciate and thank You for things people ignore to realize they have. Lord, You let things go so slowly I panic that they won't get finished on them, then with one flick show me that things aren't finished until You say so and it'll get finished if You say so, no matter what anyone thinks. Or the deadline I had in mind was totally wrong to begin with, You had a different schedule and that's the one that's going to get worked out.
You do things just Your way, You just absolutely refuse to let me predict one thing right, no matter how big or small. You insist on surprising me and that I leave You totally, totally in charge.
You make me sit and wait for ages for what You will give me after all. Just because Your timing hasn't come right yet. You tell me all the endings and never the processes. You insist I trust you when the process doesn't even seem to be directed towards the ends. You'd only tell me things when the time comes, with You there's no such thing as 'mentally prepared'.
You tell me tons of things I never thought You'd ever want to tell me and sometimes speak not a word about what I desperately wish You'd say something about. You demonstrate strange things in stranger ways. Lord I'm assuming you won't be angry at my rantings. If you are please scream at me and I'll stop.
You do things the strangest ways, Lord, sometimes it irks me not to know how it works, cause I wish I did...You want me both to grow up and to be utterly dependent on You, You want a confident girl who knows she can't trust herself with a single thing. You take great pains to prove to me how perfect You plans are, You never think it's a waste for 20 big things to arrange themselves (or rather You arrange them ) to show Your plans for one small thing. Or rather, Your view of big and small escapes me.
I love you so, Lord, though I don't understand You. I just can't figure You out and Lord, you know I tried.
You want everything of each person, Lord, You refused to consider any less even vaguely acceptable. Yet You absolutely refuse to push anybody. You feel such grief over what we do, yet You pay total individual attention to us. It could matter to You one human being when You've got trillions, not to mention angels and the rest of creation. You let us hurt You, You rejoice because these creatures sing to You, You let people be in Your holy presence, bless them, refresh them, satisfy them, fill them with Your love even when some small thing, I refused to surrender to You, over some other small thing, I could throw tantrums at You. You made us mammals, animals, yet let us bear Your image. For these mammals You gave up all your glory, You chose to suffer all the worst things they did, even the dignity You gave these creatures, You who are the Most High, You gave up. For those mammals, You chose to die.
You hold me in Your arms when all I was crying over was lost pride, yet exposed all the pride in things I hold dear, showing clearly Your displeasure. Even thoughts and feelings must be Yours.
Lord I love You very very much.
Lord, You never let me take things for granted, never let me try to be one-up on people, make me see how precious each thing you give me is, make me appreciate and thank You for things people ignore to realize they have. Lord, You let things go so slowly I panic that they won't get finished on them, then with one flick show me that things aren't finished until You say so and it'll get finished if You say so, no matter what anyone thinks. Or the deadline I had in mind was totally wrong to begin with, You had a different schedule and that's the one that's going to get worked out.
You do things just Your way, You just absolutely refuse to let me predict one thing right, no matter how big or small. You insist on surprising me and that I leave You totally, totally in charge.
You make me sit and wait for ages for what You will give me after all. Just because Your timing hasn't come right yet. You tell me all the endings and never the processes. You insist I trust you when the process doesn't even seem to be directed towards the ends. You'd only tell me things when the time comes, with You there's no such thing as 'mentally prepared'.
You tell me tons of things I never thought You'd ever want to tell me and sometimes speak not a word about what I desperately wish You'd say something about. You demonstrate strange things in stranger ways. Lord I'm assuming you won't be angry at my rantings. If you are please scream at me and I'll stop.
You do things the strangest ways, Lord, sometimes it irks me not to know how it works, cause I wish I did...You want me both to grow up and to be utterly dependent on You, You want a confident girl who knows she can't trust herself with a single thing. You take great pains to prove to me how perfect You plans are, You never think it's a waste for 20 big things to arrange themselves (or rather You arrange them ) to show Your plans for one small thing. Or rather, Your view of big and small escapes me.
I love you so, Lord, though I don't understand You. I just can't figure You out and Lord, you know I tried.
You want everything of each person, Lord, You refused to consider any less even vaguely acceptable. Yet You absolutely refuse to push anybody. You feel such grief over what we do, yet You pay total individual attention to us. It could matter to You one human being when You've got trillions, not to mention angels and the rest of creation. You let us hurt You, You rejoice because these creatures sing to You, You let people be in Your holy presence, bless them, refresh them, satisfy them, fill them with Your love even when some small thing, I refused to surrender to You, over some other small thing, I could throw tantrums at You. You made us mammals, animals, yet let us bear Your image. For these mammals You gave up all your glory, You chose to suffer all the worst things they did, even the dignity You gave these creatures, You who are the Most High, You gave up. For those mammals, You chose to die.
You hold me in Your arms when all I was crying over was lost pride, yet exposed all the pride in things I hold dear, showing clearly Your displeasure. Even thoughts and feelings must be Yours.
Lord I love You very very much.
posted by judith at
2:29 am
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home