. . .
A lot of times the things that happen to you look like the biggest, biggest thing that ever happened. They just look so huge.
posted by judith at
2:34 pm
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Thursday, January 17, 2002
Roses to Bloom
Thursday, January 17th, 2002
1:28 pm
The time Fangxiang gave me a rose after Orientation, I placed it in a mineral bottle of water. One time I was looking at it, wondering why it’s not blooming, the Lord told me,
“If this flower doesn’t bloom, it’s going to die.”
I used my fingers to separate the petals, to open them, and I thought, now the flower looks like it’s bloomed. I went away and came back a few hours later, and was aghast to see the rose rotting away from the center. The whole rose stank. I threw the rose away and the Lord told me,
“If this flower doesn’t bloom, it’s going to die. If it’s forced open, it will still die.”
On another night I thought of the rose, and the Lord asked me, why didn’t the rose bloom. I said I didn’t know. He told me it’s because it’s been cut off from the main plant from which it grew, therefore it’s actually dead.
I was shocked, for I have some feeling that He was telling me about my cellgroup, and I asked Him why He told me this. He didn’t answer me, so I asked Him if it was possible for the rose to still live. He told me the rose could be grafted back. I thought of all the grafting methods I learnt in primary school, and then I asked doubtfully,
“Lord, can the rose really still bloom again since it was dead before?”
The Lord asked me what the juice, the sap that would be flowing into the rose from the vine after the grafting was. I thought for a while, and then I realise that juice would be living water, life itself!
And I asked the Lord,
“So You mean the rose can really bloom again?”
He said it would, but only, and only if it is grafted back.
The night after Anqi said she was leaving, I was sitting on my bad crying. It happened there were roses on my bedsheet. I noticed them and I remembered that rose six months ago. It seemed to me that the petals were falling off one by one. I told the Lord sorrowfully,
“Lord, I don't think my rose will ever bloom again.”
1:28 pm
The time Fangxiang gave me a rose after Orientation, I placed it in a mineral bottle of water. One time I was looking at it, wondering why it’s not blooming, the Lord told me,
“If this flower doesn’t bloom, it’s going to die.”
I used my fingers to separate the petals, to open them, and I thought, now the flower looks like it’s bloomed. I went away and came back a few hours later, and was aghast to see the rose rotting away from the center. The whole rose stank. I threw the rose away and the Lord told me,
“If this flower doesn’t bloom, it’s going to die. If it’s forced open, it will still die.”
On another night I thought of the rose, and the Lord asked me, why didn’t the rose bloom. I said I didn’t know. He told me it’s because it’s been cut off from the main plant from which it grew, therefore it’s actually dead.
I was shocked, for I have some feeling that He was telling me about my cellgroup, and I asked Him why He told me this. He didn’t answer me, so I asked Him if it was possible for the rose to still live. He told me the rose could be grafted back. I thought of all the grafting methods I learnt in primary school, and then I asked doubtfully,
“Lord, can the rose really still bloom again since it was dead before?”
The Lord asked me what the juice, the sap that would be flowing into the rose from the vine after the grafting was. I thought for a while, and then I realise that juice would be living water, life itself!
And I asked the Lord,
“So You mean the rose can really bloom again?”
He said it would, but only, and only if it is grafted back.
The night after Anqi said she was leaving, I was sitting on my bad crying. It happened there were roses on my bedsheet. I noticed them and I remembered that rose six months ago. It seemed to me that the petals were falling off one by one. I told the Lord sorrowfully,
“Lord, I don't think my rose will ever bloom again.”
posted by judith at
1:28 pm
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Wednesday, January 02, 2002
JY’s diary
Wednesday, January 2nd, 2002
12:45 pm
A little passage in JY’s diary:
"14/12/98
"But sometimes the happiest way to live life is the simplest way. But it’s in no way boring, for it gives one more happiness than all that drama-rama ever gives you. Those lasts you nothing but pain.
"I suppose I should just be more easy about some things, learn to let go of angry emotions. I know that we are not held back by what we did not receive, but by the love that we are not extending.
"This is God’s lesson for me. That holding on to your anger is never a good thing. That sometimes when there are things you love so much on the receiving end, it’s worth the effort to take that little step, no matter how tired you are, because that’s what Jesus did. He took the step of Calvary. If He hadn’t, God knows what would have happened to us."
12:45 pm
A little passage in JY’s diary:
"14/12/98
"But sometimes the happiest way to live life is the simplest way. But it’s in no way boring, for it gives one more happiness than all that drama-rama ever gives you. Those lasts you nothing but pain.
"I suppose I should just be more easy about some things, learn to let go of angry emotions. I know that we are not held back by what we did not receive, but by the love that we are not extending.
"This is God’s lesson for me. That holding on to your anger is never a good thing. That sometimes when there are things you love so much on the receiving end, it’s worth the effort to take that little step, no matter how tired you are, because that’s what Jesus did. He took the step of Calvary. If He hadn’t, God knows what would have happened to us."
posted by judith at
12:45 am
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