FEVER 04

24/06/04 - 25/06/04


Din "hear" from the Lord in the "usual" way. Here are some of the pieces of the puzzle I got. Scared me to death. Yet, there are thing you know you couldn't not do. Not even if you had a choice and didn't want to do it. There are some things that are a package deal. One of them is following the Lord.

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Red and yellow and pink and green
Purple and orange and blue
I can sing a rainbow
Sing a rainbow
Sing a rainbow too

I first heard this song on TV, a commercial advertising Australia. From what many people told me, it seems very nice to tour Australia. I was thinking one day, I would like to go there and see the colours of the rainbow, like in the song.

The next place I heard this song. It was sung by a group of children living in poverty, in a video of a mission trip. When I heard it I realised I don't think I can go to Australia to see the rainbow anymore. I need to go to a different place. To see a different kind of rainbow.

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A few years ago when I was studying social work, people asked me what type of people I want to work with, and this is the answer I knew, but never dared to tell anyone 'cause it sounds so odd. And I didn't even know what I mean myself.
''Who do you want to work with?"
"The poor."

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HUMANTARIAN MISSION WORK
"Why go rather than just give money?"
It's not about building houses. It's that personal touch that shows them the love of God in our lives.

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I knew I was "under-training" since 16.
That was what I did it all for.
Was that what He did it all for? Is that why He did all He did in my life all these years? I think so. I think so.

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I want to see God hidding amongst "the poor" again.

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I feel a little ... or a lot ... like I've got my "ten-year plan". Do I dare to tell anyone about it? No I don't.

Having Holiday

Have had 3 weeks of holidays! Actually haven't had such a holiday for ages and ages, every previous holiday was filled with temp work or attachments or camps, or something. Something.

I submitted my NIE application a few days ago! Ha ... actually it was an easy enough thing to do, just press the submit button, but it was a hard thing to do... well, so now at last waiting for replies.

Actually haven't been that free either. Have been going out nearly everyday, lots of things to do.

Have to say I enjoy having time to lavish on people, no need to keep thinking "I've got to do this and that, I've got to go home early, tomorrow need to wake up early, etc" Feels great! To be able to go out of my way to accompany so-and-so, spend hours playing some stupid chess game with my sis, really listen to people. It's not like I'm very free, lots to do, but kind of enjoyable, of course, also getting lots of sleep. :>

I wish someone would hire me to do this. I mean, these are important things right? Letting people feel listened to, spending time to show someone you care, doing things for other people. Maybe more important than all those paperwork people are doing whole day everyday and getting their pay for. But well, life doesn't work like that.

C.S Lewis had this idea perhaps heaven is where all the things that seemed so impt and takes up so much of our time on earth, (like paperwork) are actually the unimportant things, and the things people don't spend enough time on and the things that get squashed out of time schedules are the real important things people will spend all their time on. Like worship God and spend time with people.

The problem I have is, I haven't had a "Day with God" since I got off work, even aft I din have to go back to office anymore, and that's bad. It used to be after a particularly busy period, like exams, (during which I tend to skip QT...) I would take a day off as soon as possible after and just spend that day with the Lord, nobody to disturb me. But these few weeks I haven't done that though I did have quite a lot of time. I keep interrupting myself, and feel like I HAVE to so something. So will go and do whatever. Cannot stop doing things. Maybe it's a post-work hazard, doesn't know how to be free anymore.