Hard times

Always felt, and told Choi, that God gave her a difficult situation (i.e. a difficult cell) 'cause she is able to take it. Now my cell comes up with all sorts of problems too, and I do not feel capable at all. Now I know how it feels to keep chasing someone who seems to be trying to avoid you, how it feels to see someone with so much potential let everything down the drain, and it hurts you, and you can't do anything about it, 'cause it's not your decision to make.

I feel a bit like I'm back to Secondary School. I'm in an extremely non-Christian environment in school and at home, all day, everyday. The difference is last time I was younger.

Leaving the broad path

I've got many things to write, dunno where to begin.

Nicole is going to NIE next January. It's the first time I realised how all those people who stayed back a year, in JC or uni or whatever, how it felt to be them. Compared to people who went immediately into teaching aft school, I'm 2 years late. When I go into NIE I'll be 2 years older than most of the pple, fresh out of sch. It feels kinda weird, but not as tho I mind. Just weird. I believe it's God's timing for me, wouldn't want to change even if I could. But still, it feels ... weird. I've always followed the S'pore system along the "straight and narrow" all my days, feels weird to be different, like dun belong to this broad category together with thousands of others, anymore. No more a certain fixed age means you are doing a particular thing.

to JY

hello, dear... sorry i've not been around. i've been reading ur entries whenever i could, but really have neither energy nor time nor much mood to reply. dunno if u're ok at the moment so it doesn't really matter, or u haven't been.... sometimes i can't tell if u're ok or not, even from ur blogs... cos sometimes the trumatic sounding ones turn out to b just a moment of emotion, and the happy ones could b just a mask... so... r u ok?

my excuses... pc was down last week, no free periods, no time to buy call card so dun dare to call.. enough?

sorry for not replying abt my gram's medicine. Thanks so much for searching. It means something to me. She still haven't found it but they're still trying.

was a bit stressed this 2 weeks cos got my driving test, and had to cope with all the other commitments at the same time. Haven't actually been stressed abt an exam for a long time! prob not since uni yr 1... was really jittery... like trembling... so much so that i made all the mistakes anyone can make. There, u're the first person i told. Had it just today, few hrs ago.

now feel quite drained. lots to do, dun want to do any. will go and have a good rest and a good sleep, u have one too. :>